I think it’s a shame that it takes a movie star to bring awareness to mental illness but at least the message is getting out there!
I can’t believe I finally made a sale on eBay! Things are so slow right now so I need to get more things listed.
My weight is still the same. I’m in a long stall right now and it’s driving me crazy. I know I need to change things up but I don’t know what to do. In the past I’ve done a meal where I just ate whatever I wanted but I’m afraid to do it this time.
Well, P just wanted to have sex. I’m really disappointed because we had some great conversations. Oh well! I’m chatting with a couple guys right now and things seem okay. It seems that because I don’t want anything real serious that men think that I just want sex. I want someone to go out with. Coming out of a horrible marriage there’s no way that I want to end up getting back into something where it could happen again. It’s taken 3 years to even think about having male companionship. The guy would have to be extremely special to consider marriage.
My sister and nephew came over today with “that puppy”. Yes, I’m still mad, lol. So far they have broken our screen door and the dog pooped and my nephew didn’t clean it up. I have a right to be mad right?!
Oh, I almost forgot! I ordered some clothes from Lane Bryant because they had a 70% off sale. 18/20 baby!!! I was afraid that they would run small but it’s okay. Now to get into an 18 in jeans.
Today I actually worked! I know, I can’t believe it myself. Only a few auctions but work is work, right? I listed a few dolls and a candy dish. Tomorrow I’ll do some clothes.
Yesterday I decided to make the chocolate avocado pudding to see if it really tastes as good as what people say. The first time I got too much cocoa but the second time was just right. It tastes just like chocolate pudding to me! So yummy and decadent. It is truely a treat.
Got to spend the weekend with family which was nice but I’m really mad at my sister Amanda. The background is she lost her job in December and had to go on unemployment. She is barely making it and unless she gets a job in the next month she will be losing her house and coming to live with my mother and me. She had 8 cats and 2 dogs and had to get rid of everything except a couple cats because she couldn’t afford to feed them. My mother doesn’t want any other animals in the house except for my dog but she had agreed to try the two cats and was specifically told no dogs. So of course my nephew has been begging her for a big dog. She has kept telling him no but on Saturday he starts looking at the animal shelters web page and finds a cute puppy. Once again Amanda is reminded that no dogs will be coming here. So next they decided to go to the animal shelter to look at the animals. I don’t think you even need to guess what they come back to the house with! Yes, a dog. My mother got a look on her face and hardly said anything and I did the same. I can’t believe the disrespect to my mother!! I asked her what’s she going to do at the end of February and she said she hopes to have a job by then. What a fun weekend! Oh, plus she could have used that $100 to buy food!! I’m purposely having to put it out of my mind.
Weight is still the same but I’m still noticing changes in my body so that’s good. I will be so glad when I get into average size clothing because plus size is so expensive!
I hate racing thoughts! I’ve always that that it would be so cool to have a button on the side of my head that I could push and it would block all the crazy stuff. My hair would cover it so I wouldn’t look crazy. (I know I’m already that but others don’t need to know right?) Sometimes I pray that my brain would shut down, it doesn’t have to be long, just long enough that I could fall asleep.
It’s all about P. He is really so nice. We have chatted 4 times and each time it just gets easier to talk to each other. We haven’t talked on the phone yet though and there is mild flirtation but not any pressuring about wanting sex. I like flirting but sometimes I don’t recognize when it’s going on and so I feel really stupid. He said something tonight that was very innocent flirting but I didn’t catch on until after we got done talking. So now this is replaying over and over in my head and I really need it to stop!
On to other stuff. Weight and eating are the same. Tonight I had tuna salad with red bell peppers. Very yummy!
Another reason to lose weight! Specially for women.Fat Crash Victims 80% More Likely To Die